Updated: Jun 16, 2020
It is well documented how important creating positive boundaries are for mental health. More often than not we think about boundaries from a self care perspective. It's just so important to know your limits and not overcommitt. Learning to say no can be quite a challenge for those of us who are caring. In its extreme caring people become people pleasers. People pleasers want everyone and everything to be a-ok, so they act in accordance with this value sometimes to their own detriment! They have over developed their care factor to a point where they can't say no in fear of hurting another, forgetting that they may be hurting themselves... sound familiar? This can lead to unhappiness, anxiety and burn out. So good self-care strategies are a must to help create boundaries.
However boundaries can also stop you from living your best life... Do you have such strict rigid boundaries that they stop you from living? I know sometimes I don't want to go out because I feel nervous (hello high school reunion!) so I have to make a hard decision... do I give into the fear based boundary I have constructed in my head or face my fears? Sometimes I know for me to be the best version of myself I have to stretch myself and my boundaries so that they become flexible.
Hmmm... makes it a challenge doesn't it? Do I stretch my boundaries or make them more rigid?
I'd love to hear what your experiences are. When have you been aware of making your boundaries work for you?